balance · health · inspiration · motivation · new beginnings

I am not that number!

It was my birthday yesterday, the day started with me jumping on the scale, after a couple of weeks of being pretty good, I was confident that it would display a happy number…………I gained a pound! I was gutted…frustrated….why?  The rest of the day I kept to myself as I reflected on my age, and my weight. Many of my loved ones and dear friends left beautiful heartfelt birthday messages but I couldn’t respond right away. Can’t explain why but I think I really needed to get myself into a better mental state. I went for a long walk, and my mind was swimming, saturated with so many thoughts and feelings.  Feelings I needed to harness and write down. It is therapeutic for me to do so, hence this blog. But anyway, I kept thinking about that number…those numbers…..your age, your weight….your followers, your “friends”…..Enough!  You are not that number!  I am not that number!

Age- so what!  Who decided that we should act, look and  feel a certain way when we are 30, 40, 50, 80! Once again it is probably culture, society, marketing….who cares…I want to always be me, always feel alive, always be open minded, always be relevant but real. I want to be at the point that I am proud to say how old I am because I don’t look it and I am proud to be someone  who is original, funky, true to myself and genuine!  I will be honest, when it comes to age, I almost feel that, I am almost there.  I believe that is why I have begun this journey. I am eager and excited to learn new things, I am open to change, I am not afraid of it and my arms are wide open to embrace who I am now, who I feel deep down I am…and I don’t care what anyone thinks. It is not to late to find yourself, or go back to who you were. It is not to late to discover what ignites you, for me it is yoga, spiritual learnings, balance of passions, meditation ect…For me this is not a trend. I do only wish I had discovered it earlier but hey…I am only 52, it is not to late!

Followers/friends-who cares!  Won’t have much to say about this because it is simple….true friends will not judge, condemn and criticize. They will support, lift up and celebrate!  Those are the ones you keep, those are the ones who stick around.  Followers? Again, who cares, I want followers who agree, relate, and support and most importantly I do not do what I do or write what I write for others, (if I inspire, I am thrilled) but I do it for me!

Weight- the toughest one.  I have battled with this all my life and probably will forever.  Although nothing would make me happier then to finally be at peace with that, with me.  Once again it is just a number…it does not reflect that I am a strong, successful, inspirational, beautiful woman,(words my loved ones use). When it comes to weight I really wonder if I will ever be happy, if many of us will ever be.  I look back at when I was my lightest and I remember thinking I still wanted to lose a another 10. But I have to admit, I felt fabulous. But fast forward 10 pounds heavier and I remember hating myself, less photos, less confidence.  Now 20 pounds heavier and I would do anything to be that 10 pounds heavier, 10 pounds ago. I was just never happy no matter what number I was at. I look at myself back in those photos 10, 15 pounds ago and I remember at the time hating how I looked.  I see them now, and I think I looked great and I wish I could see that again now. Before I got on that scale yesterday I was feeling good, feeling positive, feeling strong because of changes, changes in health, changes in spirit, changes in strength. Then that number seemed to change everything…for a moment..until I realized. I AM NOT THAT NUMBER!

But here’s the thing, it will not be easy to change my mindset, it is, as I say, part of this journey. And, the past journey plays a part in why I think and feel this way to begin with. I grew up with a mother who always showered us with love and compliments and we never witnessed her give that to herself.  I believe I still have never heard my mother say that she believes she is beautiful and amazing. It is still a challenge for her to even accept a compliment. My father was great at letting her know he loved her to the moon and back and thought she was beautiful but she never thought that and I saw this.   So that did not help my feelings of myself. That’s not all though, years and years ago I had a pretty major surgery that left me scarred and disfigured and although many people do not see it, I do and it definitely left me with some issues.  Issues I am still trying to deal with. Now don’t get me wrong, so many beautiful and wonderful things have contributed to who I am and what I think as well. I continue to be blessed by amazing friends, co workers and family. I have had a good life and I have few regrets. In the end…I hope to never care or dwell on my age and my weight….it does not reflect who I am, what I have accomplished, how I make people feel, how I inspire, how I live my life.  It is just a number and I am not that number!


balance · health · inspiration · Meditation · motivation · new beginnings · yoga

What is your intention?


I don’t set goals, nope, even when many others are ringing in the New Year  with resolutions, I have always set intentions.  AND…I believe in living my life following thought with intentions.  If you say you are going to do something…do it! Now don’t get me wrong, goals are great but for me intentions have always seemed more personal, more full of desire. Actually there is a great article in Yoga Journal that sums up intentions and their place in your yoga and meditation practice.

The word for intention, according to yogic philosophy, is sankalpa. This word can be translated as a vow that has been birthed in the very core of your heart — the place of your deepest truth. It is different than a goal, in that it’s a longing that comes from your highest self instead of your thinking brain. Typically, a goal comes from a place of feeling, like you need to accomplish something to be happy. You may have noticed that even if you achieve a goal, you may still feel unfulfilled.

What the yogic practitioner attempts to do is to create a life in which her goals are the same as her sankalpas (her heart’s deepest longings). We do this by establishing an intimacy with our own inner essence — the quiet voice of our inner teacher that speaks in terms of love, silence, knowingness, kindness, and bliss.

To connect to your heart’s highest intention, simply turn your awareness inward. Meditate on the quiet centre of your heart and ask that silence to reveal a sankalpa that will guide you to real fulfillment. In this way, your individual will (goal) will be super-charged with the universal will (sankalpa).

I love that!  An intention is like a vow that has been birthed in the very core of your heart-the place of your deepest truth!!! That is beautiful and that sums it up. So no more, “I want to lose 15 pounds” or “I want to hike up a mountain”, from now on it is, “I will, I will…I will!”

health · Healthier Eating · motivation · new beginnings

It’s not that hard


It’s not that hard…to eat healthy.  Just gotta do it.  Yes it takes prep, and dedication and sometimes a little imagination so it won’t be to boring, but it’s really not as hard as one might think. At least once a week, ( Sunday if I am not working,) I get organized for lunches for the week. I often will bake healthy blueberry muffins or banana blueberry bread for the hubby, I boil some eggs, I make turmeric paste for our nightly golden milk and then I will make some sort of salads for myself, a spiralized carrot ginger , or a Thai Cucumber salad, something so not boring and yummy….and crunchy!  I need to have some crunch! Today I went with a fruit salad though, I had a lot of fruit in my fridge and berries and nectarines were on sale so I chopped them all up together with watermelon, bananas and pears, then tossed them with a drizzle of coconut white balsamic vinegar and chopped basil….YUMMY! So tomorrow my lunch will be some protein, veggies and hummus,  greek yogurt to go with my fruit salad, garlic plantain chips, (low sodium and gluten free and CRUNCHY) and instead of my second cup of coffee…Kombucha!  Kinda love it! Now I am not the kind of person who can have the same lunch all week so I will mix it up with the different salads, proteins ect..but if I am organized and take the time to prep….it’s not that hard.

balance · exercise · health · inspiration · motivation · new beginnings

The Pathfinder


Apparently I like paths…my friend and I were laughing about it the other day during our morning walk.  I do seem to take a lot of photos of paths, not sure why, maybe it’s the not knowing where it might lead, the unknown. I don’t mind the unknown, keeps life interesting. Or maybe it is what a path represents. A path is going somewhere, it represents a focus, a destination. Hmmmm….kind of like what I am on now…a path to wellness, a path to health…a journey.

So I haven’t posted in a while, havent felt the words, the inspiration.  Unfortunately I have also been very busy with work and also trying to figure out another obstacle to wellness.  Recently I was diagnosed with high blood pressure.  Man this pissed me off.  I have always been kinda healthy and never really overweight. Usually just 20/30 pounds to lose, (right now about 15 would be great!) But I have always led a demanding life, my own fault really.  I have a job I love but it is definetly demanding and can be stressful. I also tend to be someone who takes care of people, worry about others particularly my family. I will often put them before myself….but I am getting better because I do believe that you are no good to anyone if you don’t take care of yourself. If you are tired, cranky, stressed and not making good decisions, you hurt the ones around you, the ones you love.

So gotta figure this blood pressure thing out, and I am hoping to do it without medicine.  I have been doing the research and it’s not just about cutting back on sodium and losing weight, although all that helps.  There are a lot of foods that can help lower your blood pressure, bananas, beets, apple cider vinegar, (that’s why I will keep drinking my Good Girl Moonshine).

And obviously I am going to keep exercising, walking, ALOT! I am so lucky because my dear friend Tanya, (check out her blog, it’s great!), loves to walk and of course we love to talk so we have been walking warriors lately! Fitting it in wherever and whenever we can.  The other morning we drove to this beautiful place in our city called Moore’s Meadow and had the most beautiful walk! image

And having a busy work schedule can’t interfere with getting healthy, no excuses! I have walking shoes at work and on my lunch I walk for at least 30 minutes around my work neighbourhood. Much better then a working lunch at my desk. And I have more energy in the afternoon and feel great!  So this is my new path….because life is ever changing and there will always be new challenges and obstacles that we have to face. There are forks in the road, or the path….there are hills to overcome and bumps to step over. But there is so much freedom, happiness and beautiful life along the way, In between the paths!image

balance · health · inspiration · motivation · new beginnings · truthbomb

Just get outside!


Sunshine, fresh air, exercise, conversation with a friend or mindful walking on your own, getting outside is the best medicine! Didn’t feel myself today, lots on my mind. Things I can’t fix, things maybe I can, most things I shouldn’t worry about, but hey that’s life and that’s me! But that is part of what this blog is about right, changing, accepting, transcending!  So although I had a lot of work to do and wasn’t in the greatest mood, I had to get outside, but before I did, I pulled a truthbomb card as I do pretty regularly and BAM if it didn’t strike a chord! Yup, took it on my walk so I could capture the moment. And….had a great walk! Trying to walk everyday, part of the David Suzuki 30x30challenge.  For the whole month of May, get outside in nature for at least 30 minutes.  Such a simple concept we shouldn’t need a month for but I love a challenge!

balance · health · Healthier Eating · inspiration · motivation · new beginnings

Good girl Moonshine

So I promised to write about another healthy practice I have adopted. Good girl moonshine is a healthy concoction that I read about last year which includes many ingredients so good for your overall health. The most important one being apple cider vinegar, which let’s face it, no one wants to just drink a tablespoon of! So by making a refreshing drink that you can enjoy through the day you ensure you are reaping all the benefits. Now there are many versions out there but I prefer this one the most, check it out as it explains the benefits of all the ingredients. I add a little turmeric to mine as we all know how good it is for you! And I put some Stevia in mine instead of honey, to limit the calories. Bottom line is I don’t want to rely on pharmaceuticals to be healthy and to prevent and cure. Food can be our enemy but the right food can be our savior.    Enjoy!